My sister: Jennifer Maria (Piening) Carr

On January 10th, 2012 we were notified that after a life of both joy and hard struggles, my loving sister Jennifer passed away.

There is just too much to say and too many emotions to feel and work through to write her obituary now.  Instead, I hope to help those of us who knew her gather and share all of the joy she brought each of us, so that we can celebrate her life.  PLEASE SHARE your story too...

For those of you that were close to her and live in Seattle, the funeral mass will be next Wednesday, January 18th.  Details to come.

"Jennifer's laugh is infectious. She laughs with her eyes, her smile, her voice, her eyes, her posture, her memories and experiences, and most of all her heart. When I think of her laugh, I smile. When I think of the times we laughed so hard that we cried, I cry now." - Mark

Link to Jennifer's Facebook memorial page...

Jennifer's Eulogy
St. Stephens Catholic Church
Renton, WA
January 18, 2012

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all human understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

_______________________________________

1. Thanks to all of you who are here.  I'm sure in Jennifer's eyes our presence and meeting each other together today is not some master plan she had, but rather a Coincidence from a life Lived.  We all knew Jennifer, and if there is anything that was true, she loved to laugh.  So let's smile and laugh with her today and remember her giving nature to people, her gifts and talents, and her passion for Life.  

The response from those that knew her in her youth was overwhelming.  Many of those people aren't here today but are saying prayers from CA, TX and around the world.  Those close to her that are here include Mom and Dad, her husband Jason, Deron, their children and their extended families.  Her sister-in-law Lori, her Godmother Henny, her cousin Karin, all of you who reached out to us and were able to be here today.

If you don't know, Jennifer died because of liver failure.  It's an interesting irony, given that Jennifer was a Liver.  I mean, she didn't just "exist" on Earth - she Lived, Big.  In some ways she has had more life experiences than many of us will ever have.  She was passionate about everything she did, especially when she could do so for others.  And we got to see that in action.

Jennifer was born on February 11, 1974 to my parents Tony and Henny Piening in Anaheim, California.  Her early years bring back fantastic memories:

• Camping in the trailer in the San Bernardino mountains, and watching her fish with my Dad
• Hosting our family from Holland or saving and flying there every four years, so we could know and be close to our family there
• Birthday parties, visits and sleepovers with our American family, the McCalls and the Koetsiers, including competitive board and card games that shaped our character.
• Soccer weekends and softball games, and later drama and choir rehearsals and shows through high school
• Beach parties at Bolsa Chica and big parties in the backyard with family and friends from school and life, including when she embarrassed me at my 21st birthday with a gift of banana hammock underwear in front of a what felt like a hundred people.  Yes, Jennifer, I admit it:  you got me.  

Jennifer was blessed with so many gifts: 

1. Her laughter, warmth and understanding.  She gave of herself.  She was trusting.  If you read the hundreds of messages our family has received across calls, visits, cards, email, text, Facebook and the guestbook, everyone that knew Jennifer mentions her HUGE smiles, big warm hysterical laughs, including those belly laughs that were so hard she would cry.  You can see her come alive in the photo collages.  Thanks to Claudia Koetsier for assembling them for us to remember Jennifer's wonderful smiles.

2. Jennifer was a wonderful Mother and Advocate, especially for autism for her kids and others afflicted, including Karin's daughter Valerie.  She was passionate about Cure Autism Now's Walk for Austim 5k - in fact, her Facebook profile picture is with Katelyn from that event.  Jennifer had a special bond with her kids, and shared a special handshake and saying with them that I'll leave to Jason to share with you later, only because I would butcher it.  Let's just say it was creative, just like Jennifer. 

3. Jennifer's musical and dramatic gifts were a blessing and a wonderful outlet for her spirit.  The shows she put on at home when she was little, high school choir and drama performances, signing Ave Maria in church, and karaoke.  We learned quickly that she had more talent than I did, which was awesome for her to remind me.  I am four years older than her, but she performed in Fiddler on the Roof at my high school during her 8th grade, which was a source of well-deserved pride for her. Jennifer, sorry I didn't tell you that more often to affirm you, but you knew it and you obviously know it now!

Jennifer had high standards for herself, and she put a lot of pressure on herself to try to Live up to them.  But let's be honest:  she was stubborn too.  She was going to do things her way, she wasn't going to depend on others and admit weakness, and she was convinced there was a new path ahead that would be better than the one she was on.  In fact, while she lived a life of joy and laughter during the ups, Jennifer was always seeking greater degrees of relief from pain, confusion and struggle as things became harder for her.  But Jennifer, even you have to admit some of these times were downright funny:

1. I remember as a kid the time Mom and Dad told her to clean her room.  Sure it was a total disaster area, but with an hour or so and a little help it would have been picked up.  I offered to help.  No way.  She shut the door, pulled everything off of her shelves and out of her closet and drawers, and decided to get "organized".  3 days later!...but man was it clean and polished.

2. Another time she decided she was "outta here", as in going to run away from home.  Of course she was like 10 years old, but she put some stuff in a bag like Bugs Bunny would in a cartoon, and decided to go live somewhere else.  Well, she made it to the elementary school parking lot behind our house.  I remember knowing she would have to come back, but as stubborn as she was I wondering if maybe she wouldn't.  That was Jennifer.  

3. Then there is the last time I saw Jennifer a year ago, with Marty, driving in Seattle.  She was sick then, and she was stubborn then too.  But man did we laugh that day in the car, telling stories and remembering the good times from our childhood.  Her laugh was free and light, and for a few moments I saw the Jennifer I always knew.  That was her spirit fighting for joy and freedom from pain.  

So to butcher and paraphrase Shakespeare's Marc Antony, we come to praise Jennifer, not just to bury her.  In her life, Jennifer deserved to have a defender and an advocate, and today she has one in death. God knows I tried to protect and defend her as she grew into adulthood to live her own life.  We all did.  But really, that's His job and not our burden.  And while she had faults, we all do.  We all are the same in our human suffering that comes from sin.  And in that Truth there is much each of us can learn from Jennifer.  So let's make sure she didn't die in vain, let's laugh about some stories of Jennifer's life, and take away some goodness for our souls in the process. Jennifer's LAUGHTER brought Light into the world, and for that she'll always be remembered:  as her Legacy, and in our hearts.  

Closing Quotes:

From Albert Einstein~

"Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life."

And my favorite Einstein quote:  "Coincidence is where God lives."

Closing Prayer:

That God embraces her in heaven, just as he embraces us on Earth.  That we feel his connection to us every day as we work to make Earth more like Heaven than Hell.  That we live every day to bring Light into the World instead of Darkness.  In a sense, that we "Pay It Forward" with everything we do.  And that we take comfort in knowing that she is with God, looking down on us and laughing about the times we shared together, and knowing that she will not be forgotten.  

Authenticity in the 21st century Bazaar

My friend @DrewCarpenter sent over a link to this book along with a radio interview with its author Rajni Bakshi.  Bakshi presents a VERY interesting way to think about how commerce works across the spectrum of capitalism to communism, using the concept of the Bazaar that this article asserts we have been straying from for the last 400+ years...

Authenticity and transparency are topics scattered through social media discussions, and have the potential to be force multipliers to drive the efficient production espoused in the classic Atlas Shrugged, without the selfishness of greed and fear that can follow in its wake.  This NYT book review of a recent Ayn Rand biography does a nice job of considering this balance across economic, social and political planes.  After the market crash, do we still think Gordon Gekko was right in believing "Greed is good" and market externalities are the burdens of the weak...?

The truth is that in the beginning as in the end, "we the people" are social animals.  Efficient market theory doesn't account well for what it takes us to maintain strong and honest relationships between each other - it remains difficult to "price in" the value and the cost.  If anything, social media is forcing us to recalculate and calibrate those values and costs as they increase, since a bad choice today can be communicated widely across a network and the world like a single match can scorch a forest.

There are some great entrepreneurial examples of authenticity and total transparency emerging, but I have to confess that when I heard of Unvarnished.com I hesitated, just like others are transparently confessing themselves.  While Unvarnished lets people publish anonymous reviews of co-workers or friends/enemies, there is little to no control of our personal and professional image using this tool.  Our friend @AaronStrout is proving brave by appearing in their Beta leaderboard for Marketing.  Nice leadership!

It raises a huge paradox for those of us working to relinquish the tight control we have learned to manage of every aspect of our lives.  We seek to be professional and personal "trust agents", with forms of spiritual development to enjoy the fruits of faith and "pay it forward" to others.  After all, if we can't live by and succeed from our actions and our reputation, then what do we really have?

With 500+ million Facebook members alone, social media networks are here to stay.  Crowdsourcing and UGC (user-generated content) makes us more honest, less selfish and more accountable to each other.  Ayn claim she was transparent and authentic, but it was a mean and selfish transparency that she hid from people and made excuses for.  Sorry Ayn, but as opposed to the "Mad Men" marketing of the 60's, social media is making it suck to be selfish.

But the question still stands:  will embracing Unvarnished through Facebook Connect be like opening Pandora's Box and risk corrupting our image across the real-time digital networks we have been assembling for the last 10 years?  Ultimately, can we enjoy the higher plane of efficient social, political and economic market theory that Bakshi introduces, without bleeding the human relationship capital in the process that Rand's Objectivism selfishly continues to advocate?

I don't want to live and die sad, mean, lonely and angry like Ayn Rand.  I'll pay the authenticity tax and take my chances.

Is Matt Curtin Superman?

Congrats to Matt Curtin and his successful launch of Socialsmack.com at DEMO 2010 this week.  Lots of great response, including this from Austin SXSW Interactive:  Austin social media startup Socialsmack launched today! 

What's cool about the guy is not just the consumer activist mobile platform he has built with this company, but how his character as a leader and citizen shines through things like The Superhero Foundation.

It was on display today at the CASA Superhero Run 5K at The Domain in Austin, TX this morning, with over 1,000 registered runners and hundreds more volunteers, friends and family cheering on the "heroes" - volunteers and brave kids.

We need to "Prop" the guys that are good stewards and leaders.  I hope you get a chance to meet and know him.

CASA Wants Superheroes for Race

I hope you are here because you care about CASA and the Superhero Run on Sunday, Sep 19th at 8am at the Domain in Austin, TX.  But if you are just to laugh at me in a Superhero costume, then that works too.  ;)

Fox 7 News Austin:  CASA Wants Superheroes for Race

If you would like to Register, Donate, or help promote the event, you can do so here:
http://www.active.com/donate/casasuperherorun2010/MPiening

Thanks to all of you, from the kids, for your support!

Social Media Revolution vs. Bill Belichick

Nice job by Erik on social media's effect on, well, everything.  If you haven't seen this before.

Makes me laugh when I think of Marvin Lewis and Bill Belichick quotes yesterday about social media, especially:  

Asked by media in New England whether he follows Ochocinco's tweets, Belichick smiled and said, "I don't do Twitter or MyFace or any of that stuff."

Old school coach that prefers to stay in the confines of his past, instead of the Moneyballers of the 21st century.

The stats are changing before our eyes every day, which is why Erik and team updated the video.  Still, his message is really more interesting as a tool to drive understanding and change with those around us.  Hold on!

Facebook Users Like Brands for "stuff"...

Facebook Users Like Brands for Discounts, Social Badging : MarketingProfs


This report makes some great points about how limited today's "Like" function is in Facebook.  It's a limited, crass, "poor man's" way to comment on Brands and experiences, though it serves well to do a virtual "back slap" on your buddies funny or agreeable comment when he posts something you "Like".

There is no doubt that in a consumer-driven culture, part of our persona is brand affiliation.  It's simply honest to affiliate ourselves with preferred brands, and a great way to confer with them.  We are what we do, what we eat, what we Like.  As Chris Brogan says in his book "Trust Agents", be transparent!

Also, as a former Brand Manager, nothing is more important than understanding what customers think and prefer.  That's how we can make better decisions on behalf of our customers.  Frankly, it's worth paying for.

This small survey scope is clearly missing the broader dataset possible through social media.  It's a gap emerging companies are striving to provide in complementary ways.

Two specific companies in Austin, TX are very focused on helping consumers advocate and provide feedback to brands in ways that leverage today's social media technologies, which is encouraging.

Socialsmack.com does this through Props and Drops, using a social gaming metaphor - kind of a "Yelp meets MyTown", focused on Brands instead of real estate/businesses.  It's free to consumers, to affiliate with Brands as well as peers and their Brands.  I understand it will be featured at Demo 2010 this year.

Of course, the leader in the space is Bazaarvoice.com.  It is the engine that helps almost every Brand leader you can think of help us (as consumers) indicate our "rating" of the product or service on the sites of those manufacturers and retailers.  Impressive first-mover advantage and expertise that is setting them apart, as they extend into other verticals.  Given how pervasive they are, you already use them...

Props to MarketingProfs for pushing us to think and evolve the psychology behind "Like"s.  Now let's all get the data behind our analysis so we can get better Brand experiences, and managers can make better decisions to make that happen.

Are you a Superhero? These kids are...

Friends and Family,

You may already know the soft spot I have for abused children, and the passion I feel to help and protect them.  As my good friend Matt Curtin was inspired to say:

“Every child needs a hero, but every abused child needs a Superhero.”

So please join me and REGISTER for the 2010 CASA Superhero Run on September 19th at 8am at The Domain, where you can laugh at me running in a Superhero costume, and do good in the process by raising money for children whose parents should have protected them cannot or will not do so.  These kids can’t stick up for themselves, but CASA Can.

Who is the Green Lantern?

But hey, I understand not all of you are comfortable running around in bright colors or tights.  So before you bail out and hit , here are the Top 10 reasons people said no to the Superhero 5K, that you don’t want to have to admit in public on September 20th.  J

Top Ten List:

10. I'm afraid if I go to The Domain I'll get distracted and stuck waiting in line for an iPad at the Apple store.  (it’s ok, they are closed Sunday mornings)

9.  I haven’t run a 5K in “x” months/years/ever.  (this is about the kids, so don’t sweat the timer if you are worried; get the course record  if you are fit or gifted)   

8.  I only run barefoot in the mountains on rocky paths - can't do high-end shopping districts with soft paved roads.  (c’mon, this’ll be the Neimann-Marcus of 5K’s)

7.  I only wear Superhero costumes in “private” time.  (We won’t tell, and this is socially acceptable…)

6.  I don’t have a costume yet.  (Amazon and others have lots to sell, and there’s plenty of time to buy)

5.  I have to watch 5 hours of NFL pre-game on Sunday mornings (really?  Well, use your DVR amigo)

4.  We must go to church on Sunday mornings (don’t worry, we’ll be done by 9am and God says you can have a hall pass to do good for abused kids)

3.  I love/despise the Longhorns and might be tired or hung-over after their victory/loss at Texas Tech the night before.  (celebrate victory or sweat out your misery with us)

2.  I am not in Austin and/or can’t make it there on September 19^th.  (keep reading, we have options for you…)

1.  I don’t like fun, winning things, celebrating good causes with people, seeing children smile, or feeling good.  (uhhh, I don’t know what to say…are we friends?)     

If you can't run for some reason above, please help us reach our team goal of $1,000 by pledging and contributing something between a cup of coffee ($2) and whatever touches your heart for these abused children (all amounts welcome to help us hit $1,000).  

Friends, this is a legitimate need to show kids we care about them and how they care for others in the future.  Here are some stories behind the kids and volunteers, including support from Gov. Rick Perry.

When you click the link to REGISTER for the Race, make sure you join team name: "Family Venture".  Or start your own!

Thanks for considering this fun activity and/or small financial sacrifice as part of your overall giving and service.

Stronger together,

Mark